Sunday, March 30, 2008

Striped Bactrian Joins Suspect List.

Authorities recently learned of an intense rivalry between Striped Camel and the deceased Teapot. On the evening before the murder witnesses watched both parties imbibe large quantities of Luxor XXX Malt Liquor in an attempt to determine who holds the largest volume of liquid. The final sighting of Teapot was with the sloppily drunk camel in the alley behind the studio.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Severed Dog's Head Found in Prosecutor's Bed.

The Special Prosecutor woke this morning to find a severed greyhound's head resting next to him in bed. "The placement of the head is clearly an attempt at intimidation by the Teapot murderer," said Mr. Quackengoose " This will have no affect on my resolve to bring this vicious monster to justice. The killer has no respect for earthenware and will break anything that gets in his way."

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Special Prosecutor Walter Quackengoose Returns from Florida Vacation.

The Special Prosecutor flew into town today on a hastily arranged trip with a Northbound flock of Canadian Geese en route to Fermilab in Batavia Illinois. After a brief visit to the local Whole Foods market for organic salad and gluten free beer the exhausted attorney went directly to work reviewing evidence for the upcoming Teapot Murder trial. When asked to comment about an impending indictment the Prosecutor ruffled his feathers and walked into his office. Splashing sounds were heard as he worked late into the evening hours.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Twin's Family is Outraged, Hires Famous Attorney Duo.

This evening well known defense attorneys Bird & Bird announced they have been retained by the Twin's Ohio family to represent them in the upcoming Teapot murder trial. "We are pleased to be able to work on behalf of the Twins. Their family won't stand by and allow the Twins to be represented by overworked, philandering, inebriated public attorneys. We are early risers, well organized, and always well dressed. It is common knowledge that a diet of fresh fish with a little salt and pepper provides the powers of concentration required to outwit any prosecutor and convince the jury that our clients are innocent. "

New Public Defender is Assigned to Twins Case.

Shortly after the resignation of C. Robert Weasel, the Public Defenders office announced that attorney Bother Frumpmess has been assigned to take over the defense of the Twins. When reached for comment by telephone, Mr. Frumpmess commented that he is on a reduced caseload since his return from a leave of absence. "I was dealing with some personal matters that needed to be taken care of" said the Attorney when he was asked about his recent leave. "My reduced caseload will allow me to pay special attention to the plight of the Twins."

Public Defender Resigns.

At a press conference this afternoon Public Defender C. Robert Weasel announced his resignation with his wife standing silently by his side. Several reporters asked for further comment about the Public Defenders plans, whether he had retained an attorney, and if he had heard any news of an impending indictment. Mr. Weasel refused further comment. He and his wife left the podium abruptly and were driven away by a black Cadillac waiting for them on the street.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Twins Attorney, Lobster Lady and Triplets Implicated in "Agency" Scandal

In this morning's press conference Whistleblower alleged that Lobster Lady is the head of an "agency" that has arranged numerous "meetings" between the Twin's attorney and the Triplets. The Triplets, petite blondes who weigh 2.2 ounces each and sport multi colored tails, reside on one of the many shelves in close proximity to the studio. Whistleblower showed various charges to the Lobster Agency in the amounts of ten and twenty dollars on copies of Mr. Weasel's Mastercard bill which she claims to have retrieved from the studio trash. In an off the record interview, an attorney who works for the public defenders office expressed his surprise at Mr. Weasel's behavior. "I never would have expected this type of thing from C. Robert. He's always been an upstanding citizen and truly believes in the law of the land. It must have been the stress of handling 300 cases at a time that got him into this trouble. I feel so badly for his wife and children."

Whistleblower Comes Forward In Murder Case.

A previously unknown ceramic figure spoke to a Tuesday Journal reporter this weekend. The whistleblower purports to have incriminating evidence linking Lobster Lady to the Public Defenders office. She claims that the motivation for Lobster Lady's "passionate plea" will come under scrutiny and has called for a press conference tomorrow morning. In the meantime, the Twins, Goblet, and Red Teapot are under house arrest.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Jar Says Goodbye to Studio.

b. Hi, What's your name?

j. Green Jar With Two Houses and Big Red Flowers.

b. I heard you wanted to say goodbye. Any reason in particular?

j. I just got out of the kiln today. I'm about to be packed in a box with a bunch of the other pots that were in the kiln with me. They tell me we're going for a ride in a yellow truck.

b. Where are you going?

j. Someone said Iowa.

b. What are you going there for?

j. They tell me there's a really nice store where I'll meet lots of other nice pots and maybe someone who wants to take me home.

b. What's this store called?

j. I think it's called Sticks Gallery, 521 East Locust, Des Moines

b. I've heard of that place. They have lots of cool stuff. We sent some pots there a while ago, they were nice.

j. I'm a little nervous about going.

b. That's completely normal. It'll be fine.

j. What if we get lost on the way there?

b. It'll never happen. Have you ever heard of a tracking number?

j. Is that like GPS?

b. Not exactly, but kind of related.

j. Well bye then.

b. nancy told me to tell you she's gonna miss you.

House Number 12 Hunted and Captured by Prettylittlethings Blog

nancyandburt Worldwide is please to announce that House # 12 was hunted and captured today by Lori of the Prettylittlethings blog.House # 12 is currently visiting some very nice houses on the Prettylittlethings blog page. We are pleased when our houses go out in the world and meet other houses from different backgrounds and parts of the world. Thank you Lori for being such a good host to our house!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Lobster Lady Holds Press Conference and Makes Passionate Plea. "The killer is still at large".

Lobster Lady, who lives in close proximity to the studio, convened a press conference this afternoon. She urged the Police to continue their search for the teapot murderer. "I won't feel safe until the killer is arrested. I'm intimately acquainted with everything that happens in the studio and I can assure you that none of the suspects could possibly have laid a hand on that teapot. The police are jumping to conclusions and trying to solve the case without enough evidence."

"The suspects all have alibis. The Red Teapot has been planning a vacation for months and was waiting for a bargain airfare. The twins were on their way to the annual meeting of the Multiple Birth Association in Las Vegas. They forgot to tell their neighbor they were borrowing her car. Goblet has been hitching around town for years, he's got no money, he can't get a job. Look at his face, would you hire him for anything?"

" We are all still at risk. This killer could strike again at any moment".

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Red Teapot is Brought in For Questioning.

The third suspect in the case of the Oak Park Teapot Slaying was arrested this afternoon at the Main Branch of the Oak Park Public Library. The unusual teapot was noticed by library personnel as she rode up the escalator to the second floor. A librarian called the police when an e-ticket for a one way trip to the Grenadine Islands was found in the paper tray of the network printer. The suspect was using a browser on a computer but managed to clear private data before authorities could see who she was communicating with. The suspect is considered a flight risk and is being held without bail.

Public Defender Assigned to Twins.

So far the Twin's plea for assistance to family and friends in Ohio has been ignored. Attorney C. Robert Weasel was appointed today by the public defender's office to assist the Twins in preparation for trial. "I know I'm working on 3oo cases and need an occasional nap during the day, but I promise to work hard to prove my client's innocence. The evidence I've seen so far is purely circumstantial", said Weasel. Weasel was recently in the news for defending a Sea Lion at the Lincoln Park Zoo. His client (who was acquitted) attempted to kill a teenager who had been harassing him before the zoo closed for the day.

Deceased Teapot Saves A Life Through Organ Donation.

Living with a transplant has vastly improved the life of a small red teapot that had been stranded in storage at a local retailer. "I know it isn't a perfect match, but now I can join the rest of the pottery in the store. I'm glad to live with the slightly loose fit, clashing colors and anti- rejection drugs. It's like starting my life all over again. I'm forever grateful to that teapot who had the foresight to register as an organ donor".

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Dramatic Arrest On Oak Park Boulevard.

Police claim the suspect resisted arrest when he was found hitch hiking on Oak Park Boulevard. "He gave us no response when we asked him where he was going. Why was he trying to get out of town, why the nervous grin and silence? We took one look at that face and knew he was up to no good" says Oak Park detective Shoenfli Ferret.

Foxer Bogle, Goblet's attorney, claims, "This is nothing but harassment. The police are profiling my client. Just because he has a nervous grin and resembles a skull and lives near the studio and was found hitch hiking on Oak Park Boulevard and has been known to congregate on the hutch with the twins, they assume he's a killer. This is the laziest police work I've ever seen."

Friday, March 14, 2008

Twins Caught With Stolen Car.

In a routine traffic stop the twins were pulled over in this stolen silver Ford. Suspicious of the unusual cargo in the rear, state police found containers of unknown substances which have been sent to the crime lab for testing. The pickup had been reported stolen from the Oak Park garage behind the studio. The state attorney's office has not made any announcements yet but it is believed that an indictment will be made shortly.

Authorities Make First Arrest.

These twins from Ohio were arrested as they were about to cross the Illinois state line.

Teapot's Best Friend Breaks Silence, Gives Statement to The Press.

"No one could have asked for a more loyal and selfless friend. I'm heartbroken that I'll never see her pour again. She had the most charming posture, the gesture of her handle and spout were one of a kind. What kind of a monster would do this? I won't rest until the murderer is captured and put on trial and sentenced to a fate as cruel as the one she suffered. I'm pleading with anyone who noticed anything unusual around the studio on the night of March 10th or has any information to come forward. "

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Studio is Declared Potential Crime Scene.

This morning the police were at the studio collecting evidence. The area around the broken teapot has been cordoned off and can only be accessed by the local authorities. The identity of the teapot will not be released until next of kin have been notified.

Badly Broken Teapot Found In Studio, Foul Play Suspected.

A teapot, broken into many small pieces, was discovered lying on it's side in the studio this morning. We are shocked and saddened at this unfortunate event.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Underage Pottery Gets Smashed.

Thanks to our neighbor for alerting us Saturday afternoon about the drunk and disorderly conduct she witnessed at the local corner bar. Because of her warning we were able to break it up before anyone was hurt or the police were called. The pots were reprimanded and lectured and are grounded until further notice. We're trying to figure out who's idea this was but so far no one's talking.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Housing Starts are Up!

We are committed to a robust schedule of building this season and intend to add to our housing inventory on a regular basis. If you are in the market for a new house be sure to check our listing page every day.

Hidden Closing Costs, Sub-Prime Mortgages, Never!

In today's turbulent real estate market, there is no safer way to purchase a home. Our houses are sturdy and stylish. You will be the envy of your neighborhood. We've got colors and floor plans to meet every growing families need.

A Variety of Styles.

This simple ranch starter home requires minimal maintenance and is remarkably affordable. If you visit our Etsy store you can make an offer and close on this house in seconds with a simple click of your mouse. There's no hassle or fuss, we take care of all closing documents and paperwork.

There Goes The Neighborhood!

nancyandburt Worldwide is pleased to announce a variety of real estate offerings that are available now at their Etsy shop. "We intend to provide the public with a wide range of choices: varying colors, architectural styles, floor plans, and truly affordable homes. At nancyandburt Worldwide we build heirloom houses that can be passed on from generation to generation. "

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Possible Tornado Strikes Kiln. Cul De Sac Neighborhoods are Turned Upside Down.

It's a miracle that no one was killed or injured. Remarkably none of the houses or trees were damaged despite the bad weather . We are grateful that the community will recover and that the houses will stand upright when they are photographed tomorrow.

Big Red Vase Gives Morning Lecture.

"Now listen closely little ones. It's a big cold world out there outside this kiln. You could be covered with bubble wrap and stuck in a cardboard box at any moment and you may be in the dark for days or weeks or years. The more fortunate among you will wake up in a nice clean house, but some of you may end up on a shelf in a store surrounded by unfamiliar objects from foreign studios. Never forget where you came from and don't ever forget who you are. Look your best at all times, hold flowers with pride, and no matter what, remember that your glaze is food safe and water tight."

Monday, March 3, 2008

Important Announcement.

After a series of meetings with carefully selected focus groups the
nancyandburt Worldwide blog committee has decided
that from this day on blog text will no longer be centered.

nancyandburt are pleased to announce that all future blog
entries will be justified to the left. We understand that some of our readers
may have a difficult time adjusting to this change and apologize for any
confusion or inconvenience. You can be assured that the new format will
make the blog easier and more enjoyable to read.

Exclusive Interview.

b. What's your name?

J. Black Jar with White Dots and Flowers.

b. That's a very long name, does this cause you any problems?

J. My friends call me BJWDF for short, I'm pretty distinctive, most everybody knows who I am.

b. What do you do for fun?

J. I mostly hang out. My favorite place to hang out is on the white shelf near the mirror. I really enjoy when people take off my lid to see what's inside.

b. Do you listen to music? Do you have a favorite T.V. show?

J. The people I live with don't have cable. I'm tired of watching PBS but I've been enjoying Dick Van Dyke re-runs lately. I'd love to live in that T.V. household and have Mary Tyler Moore dust me off every day.

b. If you could pick any time to live in when would that be?

J. That's easy. France, 1770-1780. I love the opulence and style. I can see myself hanging out with the perfume bottles and notions on Marie Antoinnette's dresser, while she was still having a good time, before things got ugly.

b. Do you have any advice for our readers?

J. Flowers are good, spring will be here soon, there's green stuff growing under the ice and snow, cheer up.

b. Thanks for your time.

J. No problem, I've got nothing but time.